I’m writing this almost as a cry for help. I feel like I’m back at square one.
My dream isn’t to have my own business. My dream is to make music and really sweet videos. I would also like to make documentaries.
Music and film making have been constants in my life. This business and web thing is kind of new and has developed as I’ve been desperate to monetize my talents. And while it’s been fun, I’m exhausted. I’ve made some things I’m proud of, but I only feel somewhat satisfied. I feel like I have so much more to give and all my creative energy is going into projects I’m only somewhat invested in. I’m turning 25 next month and feel like I’m wasting my time. I feel like this isn’t working anymore…but I also don’t feel like i have options. My student loan debt is totally crippling and I’ve had a hard time finding work in my field in Upstate, NY. I also feel like I’m stuck here until God says I can leave, so leaving isn’t really an option either. I have freedom to work from anywhere but no money to get anywhere else. I wear my pajamas to work half the time but sometimes don’t have social contact for days. My health is crippling. My spiritual life is dim. I feel trapped. I have no idea how to get to a place where I can make money but actually do what I love. SO yeah…square one. I’m thinking about just working at a restaurant or something while I figure this out. I just feel like if I keep spending my creative energy on this stuff and doing what I’m doing, I’m going to run into a wall.
If you have any ideas on steps I can take to move forward, please share.